Successful collaboration - do you remember it how it feels?

I dare to proclaim that you've done it before. A collaboration that just worked really well right from the start. Everyone was attuned to each other's key, and if there were any mis-sounds, they were interpreted as additions that perhaps didn't belong to the scale of the situation, but were instead considered daring expansion chords.

It gave the collaboration colour, maturity, that you played like a jazz band where solos were respected. Improvisation brought new perspectives, opened up new spaces of understanding and touched your comfort zone. Everyone contributed to the effective teamwork that felt like a game.

The team created meaning

Leaving in the morning was something to look forward to, because the teamwork was not just about the tasks. No, it was just as much about the togetherness, the teamwork and the interaction. You were on board and you created something together. It made sense on a deeper level because the team's purpose matched your personal purpose.

What a great state to be in as a team. Team effectiveness and team spirit went hand in hand.

Oh no - dysfunctional teams

But you've probably experienced the other extreme too. Where it's hard to maneuver in the team because the chiefs are constantly defending themselves and seeking to expand their territory, and where team meetings begin with the gnashing of teeth and end with the sweat of fear.

Where there are battles for task attention, resources, influence and power, and where trust, cohesion and well-being are assigned fleshless gnaws that make growth impossible.

I vividly remember teams where everyone fought for respect, but no one was prepared to give respect. Or team personality conflicts simmered, but no one dared to tap into the bubble for fear of offending the others.

I also remember the team dominated by egos so big that the invisible power became almost tangible in every dialogue that was held.

Or the teams where the promises of the last workshop had not been fulfilled because silo mentality and tunnel vision had set in. And so I could go on. Every team has its things, forms, structures and habits that can be optimised.

Don't forget that a team is an organic entity, changeable, impressionable, fragile and human. This means that you can't be a high performing team once and for all, but you can do your part to ensure that the team is high performing every day.

The core of successful collaboration

Drawing on the countless teams I've had the honour of acting as trusted advisor to, the distillation indicates certain factors that are absolutely crucial to effective team collaboration.

The workshops I have delivered have virtually all been rooted in psychological validity, such as understanding that all participants were in possession of an Insights Discovery Person Profile.

It gave them self-insight in an easily digestible form, and even actionable advice to act optimally based on their unique personality. This means that the discussions and dialogues we have can always be traced back to the individual's preferences.

And now we've reached one of the keys to successful teamwork - mutual respect. The detached colleague, the one the others want to play with, has understood this part of social psychology, that if you truly acknowledge a person, and respect him on his own terms, then you have an ally, someone who proactively steps in when you need it.

If you authentically see and acknowledge a person in their being and beingness, assessing them on their own terms, then they immediately sense that you are giving them space and respecting them.

If you can see in him what he sees in himself, and live freely with that, then teamwork is really in good shape if everyone masters this approach.

Creating a respectful environment

"How is it that we work so well together even though we are quite different?" This is a question I am often asked. Either because people want to challenge psychology or because they want affirmation that they are particularly special.

The short answer is that it's because they each give the other space and room to freely express themselves, to be themselves, without selfish demands that the other should do things just like you. And this respect for individual freedom is special in today's organisations.

Not only is it special, it is also difficult, because the strengthening of the team is from individual to individual. If you search your memory, you will probably also remember the feeling of how difficult it is to meet someone with open arms, someone who is your diamental opposite.

The shadows of successful collaboration

Follow me in a little thought experiment. You walk down a long, narrow corridor with a door at the end. You continue at a normal pace, but it takes ages. Suddenly you see the door open and you see the person from the team come in with whom you have the least in common.

Now close your eyes and relive the experiment. What do you feel and think during the next forty steps before you pass each other?

Your answers are worth staying by and examining further. Not least for yourself. For before you is the quickening of the person you have chosen to be, your Shadow.

It is difficult with the open arms approach, difficult with the authentic respect that requires forgiveness, self-sacrifice and maturity. The authentic says something about you and the processes you have gone through as a human being. Successful teamwork requires that you try to embrace your own shadow, that you act as master of your own house.

Self-awareness is the corner stone of successful collaboration

A person who is unable to deal with his own bad habits does not show himself respect, but keeps himself protected by an extensive ego defence. Colleagues quickly sense your horizon of consciousness, the level of your self-awareness, your depth, the relationship with your Shadow.

They hear clearly whether your jazz solo is timed, n'sync, respectful and inspired by their earlier inputs into the event. "Do you like my ideas or not?" the pianist, drummer and bassist think. All as one.

All as one they are interested in whether you play with or against. Effective teamwork where mutual respect prevails depends on each individual's ability to relate to himself, his Shadow and other demands.

Therefore, be curious about yourself and your colleagues' energies,

if you want mutual respect in the team.